The Paperchase

Baxter and I
our house

I’d been thinking of adoption for some time and but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to adopt. I had a kidney transplant in 1987, and I thought that this might disqualify me from adopting. When a friend who’d adopted from China told me about a Yahoo group called a-parents-china (also known as APC or Adoptive Parents China), I joined it, and on May 29, 2004, I posted my first question to the group: would I be able to adopt from China if I had had a kidney transplant? I received many replies (one from a nurse in Nebraska...more on that later!) that all told me that my medical history wouldn’t prevent me from adopting from China. I really don’t know what people did before the Internet! I researched China adoption on-line and learned about the quota placed on singles adopting from China—only 8% of all adoptions each year could be by single parents—and that most adoption agencies had waiting lists of singles wanting to adopt from China. I contacted several agencies and added my name to their waiting lists and much to my surprise, I was offered a 2005 singles spot with Adoptions Together in June, 2004. I submitted my application to Adoptions Together on June 25, 2004. In early July, 2004, I chose a local adoption agency, International Adoption Services Centre, to do my homestudy. The homestudy was not as terrible as one would think. I completed a 112-question autobiography and asked three good friends to write letters of reference for me, which they graciously did. What I found hysterical was that they all wrote words to the effect that, based on my relationship with my yellow lab, Baxter, I would probably have “issues with discipline!” He is absolutely the most loving dog but obedient? not exactly). My social worker, Hannah, came to my house just once, on November 18, 2004, and we talked over coffee for a little over four hours. I gave her a tour of the house which was cursory at best--no white-glove test, no looking in closets--and then one of my references came over for a short face-to-face interview (I took the dog for a walk while they talked). That was it. Hannah completed my homestudy on January 3, 2005. While I waited for her to finish it, I began to assemble the other documents that, together with the completed homestudy, would become my dossier—what adoptive parents affectionately call The Paperchase. These documents included: a letter requesting that the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs allow me to adopt; my Delaware birth certificate; a statement as to my single heterosexual status (married couples include their marriage certificate); a letter from my child’s guardians (my sister and brother-in-law) in the event of my death; a financial statement form; a medical report, including a letter from my doctor (I had to have a physical and to have bloodwork done for this); a letter from my employer; police clearance; and an I-171H, which is the USCIS’ approval to adopt an orphan overseas. To obtain this, I filed a form called an I-600A and had my fingerprints done on January 10, 2005, at the USCIS office in South Portland. On January 25, 2005, I received a letter from USCIS: because my homestudy approved me to adopt one child but, when filling out my I-600A, I had answered ‘yes’ to Question #17 (Do you want to adopt more than one child?), USCIS requested that I confirm that I only intended to adopt one child. I immediately did so and (finally!) received my I-171H on February 2, 2005. I had all of these documents notarized and took them and my homestudy to the Secretary of State’s Office in Augusta on February 9, 2005, to be certified. I then sent them, along with a copy of the face page from my passport, two passport-sized photos, and 6 “family life” photos to Adoptions Together in Baltimore. AT then took everything to the Chinese Embassy and to the U.S. Department of State in Washington, D.C., for certification and authentication before sending my dossier to China. My dossier was logged in with the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) on February 21, 2004! That became my LID, or log-in date. While waiting for my referral, I took a mandatory, week-end–long adoptive parenting course with my homestudy agency on February 19-20, 2005. (Despite myself, I enjoyed the class very much and think I learned a lot). In preparation for my trip to China, I also got vaccinated for Tetanus/Diphtheria, MMR (Measles/Mumps/Rubella), Hepatitis A (twice), and Hepatitis B (three times). My best friend, LeaAnne, also gave me a baby shower on August 6, 2005. Oh, I also decorated the nursery! And I shopped, of course! What was the first thing I bought for the baby? A pink eyelet baby bonnet and (what else?!) a wooden dog pull-toy bought when at a conference in Bar Harbor in October, 2004 (probably right before Elizabeth was born in China)…I drove from Maine to Baltimore on September 1, 2005, for my travel group meeting. At that meeting the following morning, much to everyone’s surprise, we were told that referrals were in but not yet translated. Our daughters were from Jingdezhen, Jiangxi Province, and we would receive our referrals the following Wednesday!!!

Why China? Because that's where my daughter is!

I chose to adopt from China for many reasons: I've always wanted to be a Mom. I just haven't met the right guy, and I didn't want to wait to meet that guy before having children. I do want to get married one day--I figure that I'm just doing it all backwards (career, house, children, then husband...)! The decision to adopt was the most logical for me, because there was a child already in existence, a baby who needed a loving home and I needed to be a parent. I would have preferred to have children with a partner but that isn't an option at this time. So, I’m single. Many countries don’t allow singles to adopt, but (at least under the current rules until May 1, 2007 ) single women may adopt from China. However, only 8% of adoptions from China in any given year may be by singles, so I had to find a singles spot with an agency before beginning the adoption process. (That was a bit of a challenge the first time around--I placed my name on waiting lists with several different agencies in order to get one of those singles spots and was ecstatic when Adoptions Together called and offered me a spot in 2004). Many countries require that you remain in the country for an extended period of time or make two trips to the country to adopt your child, but China’s adoption program requires only one trip to China that usually is about 2 weeks long. The adoption is finalized in China for single applicants, and the baby becomes a U.S. citizen upon arrival in the U.S. The Chinese adoption process is one of the most well-established and predictable international adoption programs. China’s adoption program officially began in 1992, and adoptions from China to the United States in 2005 (including Elizabeth's) numbered 7906. China's adoption program is very affordable compared to other international adoption programs. All fees are outlined at the beginning of the process, so you know what to expect, and unexpected "gifts" or "payments" are not a part of China's process. In addition to being absolutely beautiful, the children are healthy. Women in China tend to live healthy lifestyles, and very few Chinese women smoke or drink. Adopted Chinese children in general tend to be free of the long-term physical and emotional issues that one reads about from other countries. The Chinese people are friendly and very accepting of Americans adopting from China. I was stopped so many times by people on the street who would smile and point to Elizabeth and say, “Lucky baby!” (Each time, I would reply, “No—lucky Mama!”). I chose to adopt from China for a second time for all of the same reasons as I had the first time. I also wanted Elizabeth to have a little sister who would share her heritage and birth country, and I didn’t want her to be an only child. If only I could leave for China tomorrow to bring her baby sister home...!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

The oldest and most important festival in China is called the Spring Festival. Many people call it the Chinese New Year. It’s a time of celebration for millions of Chinese people all over the world. The Spring Festival celebrates the Earth coming back to life and the beginning of plowing and planting. Because the Chinese use a lunar calendar, the date of the Spring Festival changes each year. It takes place at some time during the end of January or the beginning of February. This year it falls on February 18, 2007.

The Chinese calendar has a 12 year cycle and each year is named after an animal. People born in each of these years are said to have certain characteristics. The year 2007 (year 4705 on the Chinese calendar) is the Year of the Pig or the Boar. People born in the Year of the Pig are honest, sincere and genuine. They have a heart of gold and people admire them tremendously. They are called upon when sincere advice is needed and will always give a helping hand. Pig people are the best friends anyone can have. They are fun-loving and know how to throw a good party, but if you anger or hurt them, they can be extremely vengeful. They can also be naive, which allows others to take advantage of them. They have a great thirst for knowledge. Perhaps Baby #2 will be a Pig (boy, does that sound awful!)? Elizabeth was born on October 26, 2004, in the Year of the Monkey. People born in the Year of the Monkey are inventive, versatile, intelligent, humorous, generous, witty, lively, and independent. They're also (supposedly) manipulative, opinionated, egotistical, capricious, superficial, meddling, careless, and nosy. I'm a Dragon--noble, dignified, honest, charismatic, vibrant, magnanimous, expansive, powerful; also, ruthless, imperious, arrogant, dogmatic, pompous, despotic, intolerant, demanding...hmmm!

To prepare for the New Year, Chinese clean their houses, repay any money they owe, get their hair cut, and buy new clothes. They decorate their houses with signs that wish peace and luck for the coming year. On New Year's Eve the Chinese light up their houses and gather together for a family dinner. Special foods are served. Most people stay up late and set off fireworks late at night to scare away evil spirits. Another tradition is the handing out of red packets which are decorated paper envelopes containing money. So--what did we do to celebrate Chinese New Year? Not a thing! Maybe~definitely~next year?

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy New Year!